‘A lotus for you; a Buddha to be’
A long time ago, a friend of mine gave me a little book of Gathas by Thich Nhat Hanh. As I read the little book, I understood that the Gathas were like affirmations to be stated (inwardly) during various daily activities, as a kind of meditation. I memorised several of the Gathas and used them intermittently over the years. There is one that has been particularly helpful, especially when dealing with challenges with other humans, which I have revisited and wanted to share here.
When I first started using this Gatha, I was working for a national food company in the consumer information centre. I was in my early twenties and struggling with emotional sensitivity, especially when people were rude towards me. Being sensitive and reactive is less than ideal in customer service.
My sensitivity was causing great suffering and I knew I needed to take charge of the situation. Suppressing my emotions was ineffectual but expressing them wasn’t an option either. It turns out that acceptance was the only pathway forward. I had to accept my customers, irrespective of their emotional state. I had to understand that some of them were angry, rude, irate, indifferent or whatever else. When accepting a situation, it doesn’t mean you have to tolerate the unacceptable. You simply change your inner attitude and then assert your boundaries thereafter. To the ones who were rude or swearing, for example, I could simply state, ‘We don’t tolerate foul language here. If you use that language with me, I will hang up the phone.’ This statement can be made without inner resistance. Once I had accepted people as they were (without harbouring inner resistance) I was one step closer to finding inner balance.
This one particular Gatha took me even further. If you follow Abraham Hicks, it is similar to what they call ‘pre-paving’ or ‘segment intending,’ whereby, you set an intention for the interaction to follow. At work, each time I answered the phone, I stated inwardly, ‘A lotus for you; a Buddha to be.’ As I made that statement, I imagined offering the caller a glowing white lotus flower from the palm of my hand. As I did this, I could sense a gentle emanation of peace flowing out of me and something miraculous happened; all of my interactions, even with angry people, became enjoyable and harmonious. Eventually the Gatha became ‘wordless’ and I offered over a pure energy of peace and acceptance, along with the image of the glowing lotus flower. This took less than a second to do so.
I became so good at offering a lotus flower and seeing potential divinity in others, that in some of my future work roles, I was unofficially appointed as ‘complaints handler.’ I realised that in most instances, people just want to be truly listened to without being judged. They just wish to be acknowledged and have their grievances recognised as being valid. In a customer service situation, I was able to put my defensiveness (ego) aside and allow others to be as they were, without taking it personally. In my personal life, however, I continued to struggle.
Decades later, I finally had a handle on harmonious personal relationships. But recently, I have been challenged by public relationships. You know; the kinds of interactions you have with complete strangers. For example, people sharing a footpath who won’t move to allow room for you to pass, so you have to go off-road into the dog poo on the edge of the path that other people haven’t bothered to pick up. Or when you observe somebody loudly and incessantly honking on the horn because a person indicated and turned off to their destination, that is, the café you were enjoying a quiet early morning coffee where people are sleeping in the hotels nearby. Those kinds of interactions, involving lack of kindness and consideration towards others, have challenged me lately.
I woke up one morning recently and said to my husband, ‘I wish to complain less.’ The simple fact is, there is a different demographic in my previously friendly hometown and I was slow to accept the change. But it has changed. Having flocked to my small town from the big smoke, people are less tolerant and not as generous in spirit towards one another. So, having acknowledged my unfulfilled desire for people to be kind to one another, it was time to take charge of the situation.
Armed with my best defence, I went to get coffee. As I watched the hard, angry faces impatiently pushing and bustling against one another for the best seats and first place in the line, I used my Gatha. I discreetly looked at each one in turn and stated silently, ‘A lotus for you; a Buddha to be,’ as I offered them a glowing white lotus flower from the palm of my hand. Then something miraculous happened.
I saw that I was the impatient, hard-faced and angry one. I was jaded that I had to compete for the best seats or first place in the line. I was the one feeling encroached upon and down-trodden. I wept silently behind my sunglasses. My heart softened and the anger dissolved. I no longer perceived angry, hard faces. Instead, I saw people with challenges and became aware of their divine potential. I witnessed resistance within me and as I looked at each person and offered them a lotus, I knew that each was doing their best, given all they had lived thus far. Compassion overwhelmed me and tears flowed. Thereafter, I offered myself a lotus and acknowledged that I too, am a Buddha to be.
In that moment, I offered my deepest appreciation and reverence to the absolute. In those moments, I am connected to the oneness, the divine intelligence allowing all that is and I know my worthiness. I know I have all I could ever wish for when that which has been standing in my way is removed and my connectedness is restored. That is real abundance.
I still dream of a world where people have stillness within; where they sense joy and completeness and have inner abundance, so much so, they can be generous in spirit. I will continue to dream of this world but I have no right to create in the experience of others. Instead, I shall ‘forge’ my way, armed with my best defence. If I wish to see kindness in this world, I need to be the one to offer it freely and without condition. No longer restricted to customer service, I now offer a lotus to all, for each of us is a Buddha to be.
