Wow! What a Challenging Time it Has Been!

This is potentially a very stressful time for many people. The whole world has had sustained confusing and challenging (to say the least) experiences over the past couple of years. As a person who normally copes very well with most of life’s challenges, I was surprised this last week when I have been in a very emotionally raw state, to the point where I have questioned everything. 

Now, there is nothing wrong with questioning life and redesigning the framework from which we view our experiences but I was certainly experiencing unusually heightened sensitivity to negative energies. And my ‘meltdown’ was just in time, as I was scheduled to meet with my life coach. I was very excited for our session and so happy that I was finally feeling raw and had loads of stuff to work on.

One of the things that I was struggling with is that I am a very gentle and kind person at heart. Suffice it to say that I had an expectation that strangers would show some common courtesy, which has been severely lacking of late. This has been getting to me. I have gently wept in my quieter moments, for I love my fellow beings and can’t stand that they would hurt others. But my life coach pointed out to me something that had already occurred in my mind about a month or so ago; if I normally cope really well and yet, even I have been feeling stressed and uncertain, how must other people be feeling right now?

She reminded me of the word ‘compassion.’ I must first of all have compassion towards myself, even for having negative beliefs about others at times and compassion towards others for behaving ‘badly’ at times.

This reminded me of a guy I had encountered around town some time ago. He was always zipping about the place in his car checking the surf, always super frothy and happy, always bouncing off one thing or another thing, always frothing on the surf. And I found him to be really annoying. I just didn’t like him and I didn’t know why. I mean, he was a pleasant sort of guy and he never caused harm to me. Why on earth would I not like him? 

But then we were introduced through a friend and I got to know him a little bit. One day he opened up to me. It turns out that he wasn’t actually happy and that he had a fear that people didn’t like him, which weirdly meant that people responded to him by not liking him! 

He shared more about his very difficult and challenging past and my heart just opened up. I felt like a proper jerk for ever having not liked him. And of course, I needed to have compassion towards myself then, because I didn’t know any better at the time. I was responding in a way that matched his fear. That’s all. And I got to know him and he was just lovely! He just had some stuff to deal with.

Now, why didn’t I just give him the benefit of the doubt? The truth is, that I am very blessed these days to be privy to the innermost workings of peoples’ minds and emotions. As I get to know more people, I am surprised to learn how many of us share common fears and insecurities. I have come to understand that we are all vulnerable at times and our consequent behaviours can be easily misconstrued by others. Why don’t I just give people the benefit of the doubt without having to know the depths of their past experiences and conditioning that has led them to be the way that they are?

This is simply about trust. The more you know about a person the more compassion you can have for them as you view their perspective. But for the most part, when somebody is rude or unkind, especially strangers, you don’t know. You won’t ever know in many of those instances. 

But you can know this; people are doing the best that they can at any given point in time given who they are and given their circumstances. Many people act out of fear and the consequences of acting out of fear can be rather dramatic. These people create stress, anger, difficulty and encounter resistance at every turn. They are suffering. You don’t know why they suffer or why they behave as they do. But there is always a very good reason for it. 

Now, you would do good to avoid such people of course (unless life forces you to acknowledge them in some way). They are strangers because your job isn’t to befriend broken people and to fix them. And you do not have to condone their behaviour. But I would also like you to know that you do not have to suffer because of their behaviour.

If life has forced you to encounter people who are suffering and creating suffering for others, as you notice yourself becoming indignant, simply ask the question ‘Do I really know the whole story?’ 

Do you? Do you have the whole picture? Do you really know what is going on for them? Do you understand their past experiences, their biochemistry, unique genetic code and the way their mind works? Do you really know why they have behaved the way that they have behaved?

The simple answer is no. You don’t know, nor is it likely that you will ever know. And so, it is good to remind yourself then, to have compassion if you can. Just be easy and gentle about it of course. It isn’t good to force these things. If you can’t have compassion and you’re upset you might like to take time out and journal or chat to a trusted friend or a counsellor. 

A simple gesture that I have become fond of is to put my left hand over my heart and say ‘compassion’ silently in my mind. I then bless the person and let them go. I acknowledge that we are all one and of the same source and that if I were in that person’s shoes, I would probably behave in exactly the same manner.  

People are really stressed right now. So don’t let them infect the world with more stress and anger. There appears to be this global pandemic of negative energy at the moment and it is highly contagious. You can stop the spread. Have love and compassion for yourself and for others. Compassion is the antidote. It is extremely powerful! It is the most potent drug available and the best part is, it doesn’t cost a cent! 

Thank you for reading this dear one! May your days be filled with blessings. May you find peace in the midst of chaos and may your spiritual growth be enriching beyond measure.