Failure; What Does it Really Mean?
There are so many successes that are expected of you in the eyes of mankind. The expectations placed upon you and what constitutes ‘success’ will largely depend upon your culture and where you were raised. But as the Western way of life spreads across the globe, it is likely that measures of success stem around knowledge and academia, material possessions and assets, physical appearance and health, career and fame and I’m sure you can think of many more.
All measures of success in the Western world are seemingly dependent on external circumstances. It is almost hard-wired into us through cultural conditioning that if you do not have success in the eyes of your world then you are not worthy as a human being. “But I know I am worthy,” you may say. And yes, it’s true that you may consciously know this but I’d like you to think about a time when you have not succeeded in something. How did you feel?
If you ‘fail’ at something and feel any negative emotion, if you feel as though you are less or diminished in some way, if you feel bad at all, then this belief of having to succeed in order to be worthy, may very well have infiltrated your subconscious and who can blame you? This is a natural response to the exposure that you have had in life thus far.
It is rare to be told that the measure of success is the level of joy that you feel. It is rarer still, to be told that you are worthy of the feeling of joy irrespective of your life situation. In fact, you are worthy of all that is good, no matter how you feel and irrespective of whether you are aware of the joy that is ever-present (although not always noticed) within you.
When you have been trying so hard to achieve an aim, investing so much energy, so much hope, perhaps even money and resources and then it doesn’t work out, the sense of loss and pain you may feel can be debilitating. This pain is so great for some people that they decide not to invest in the first place. You have heard of people for whom ‘fear of failure’ is their biggest hurdle and the very reason they don’t succeed or even attempt to succeed in the first place.
The reality is that you have only really failed at something if your perception of its purpose is limited. For example, a romantic relationship that has lasted for ten years and then the couple has separated could be viewed as a failed relationship if the aim is to stay together until death. But if the relationship is broken down into its individual components in terms of the needs that were being satisfied for the duration of the relationship it could be considered a success for ten years.
Perhaps companionship was important or financial support, sexual needs, creating children, creating an empire or the biggest purpose of all that is often overlooked; spiritual growth. If you grew at all during your ‘failed’ relationship then it could be termed a success. So, failure, really, is largely dependent upon what the intended outcome is.
If your goal in life is to experience present moment awareness and joy then it is possible for your entire life to be a success even if you have absolutely nothing. But when you find a sense of joy, content and completeness within, you will find that the world will mirror this to you through material success as a consequence. Forms will come and go. Some goals will be achieved and some will not.
Holding on to some goals with grim determination isn’t always ideal. Is succeeding materially at all costs really the way you want to go about your life? Isn’t it okay then to ‘fail’ sometimes? Isn’t there sometimes much more to be gained in terms of lessons and spiritual growth?
There are forms and manifestations in life that can’t last forever. Sometimes it is best to let go and take care of yourself instead of pursuing your goals with grim determination. Failure is only failure when you have a rigid aim that you have not succeeded in achieving. Being flexible in your aims and understanding broader perspectives and deeper purpose may help you to see that you can never truly be a failure.
Yes, in the material world it is possible to fail to achieve goals that you have set out for yourself. However, if you’d like to stop suffering your failures then it will require a commitment on your part to shift your focus and to look to where you are having success. It will also be necessary to let go of any inflexible goals that you have previously held onto with white-knuckle grip. If you want to be successful you must turn your attention inward. If you want to be successful, you must find a sense of completeness in your here and now. If you want to be successful, you must adjust the quality of your moments, your ‘being’ and your ‘doing’ and allow all of your successes to flow to you from within that state.
Do you feel you are failing at maintaining a balanced inner state? Let ‘failure’ be okay. It is just your perception that you are failing. The feeling of failure is created from wanting to be over there when in fact, you are here. So, begin where you are. Be okay with where you are. Make peace with where you are. Embrace where you are. Fully inhabit this moment. In this moment, if you can bring as much of your awareness as possible to your body, into the energy that animates your form, you can find a sense of deep peace and a knowing that you are already a success.
You see, you are already a divine and magnificent being. There is nothing that you could ever do that could make you more worthy of all of the good, the adoration, and the unconditional love that is given unto you. Beyond this world of form, when you connect with your inner spaciousness, you will see that you are perfect and you are loved exactly as you are. What you decide to be and do is completely up to you but you will not be loved any more or less based on what you decide. It is only humans who love conditionally. This has trained you to believe, at a deep, feeling level that you are not good enough unless you do something to prove yourself. It is simply not true.
You are a pioneering soul. You are one who has come to the planet Earth to explore all that you are within the context of an extremely contrasting and challenging world. You are a brave soul simply for choosing to incarnate on the planet Earth. The Universe is in a continuous state of expansion and of becoming and you are at the forefront of this exploration. You are a pioneer and you are a visionary.
This world is here just for you. You are a precious and unique soul. There is no other like you. Be kind and gentle towards yourself. For you are worthy already. There is nothing you need to do to deserve the love of the Divine. When you come into this moment, when you allow your mind to be still, you can sense your worth. As you ‘come to your senses’ you can know that you are loved and revered beyond a doubt. You can feel the love and appreciation that is directed towards you and this is when you can feel like the luckiest person alive. In this moment you can experience a deep sense of connectedness and of belonging. You feel and know your success in this life simply by truly being all that you are, embracing your perfections and seeming imperfections.
You are here to allow the Universe to expand, to evolve and to grow. You are here to be all that you are and to honour the flow of your moments. You are here to express all that you are and to honour that which excites you and that which you are passionate about. You are here to be all that you are and to honour that which you dislike and that which you like. You are here to create the world anew, as you wish to see it. You are here to live the life that appeals to you. You are here to honour all that you are and to honour all that you feel. Embrace you in all of your uniqueness. See yourself as your source sees you. You are a miracle. You are life made manifest. You were created out of magic and your very existence is a miracle, against all odds.
You are here by your soul’s powerful desire to experience life and all that it means to be human; to experience love and loss, chaos and peace, darkness and light, warmth and cold, joy and sorrow, success and failure. And in the midst of it all, there is always a place available to you, it is a place within that is found in this moment. Within you is a quiet and still place of love and peace that is without condition. Within this space you are always deserving. You are always perfect. You are the love and the light. This is the essence of all that you are; powerful, perfect and made of love. Give yourself permission to receive. For you are perfect and worthy and deserving of all that is good, right here and right now.
