Permission to Joy
Do you stop yourself from experiencing joy? Your first answer might be, ‘Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I let myself feel joy!’ but I encourage you to pause a little and consider how often you feel joy. Is your joy short-lived? Is it contextual? If so, you do stop yourself from awareness of joy and here’s why.
When you were born, you were likely joyful. There are rare instances where a child comes who is heavily burdened by their past lives but most of us were joyful. Then we learn appropriate behaviours and expressions of happiness. We learn that exuberant joy is inappropriate to express in public, therefore, many of us attenuate that side when out and about in the world.
Have you noticed if you see someone walking down the street smiling on their own, they appear of dubious character? Unless they’re plugged in to a device; then we can just assume the podcast they’re listening to is really uplifting. Nevertheless, it does speak to our beliefs as a collective when somebody appears to be ‘under the influence’ because they are alone and smiling. Perhaps one day we might live in a world where ‘unreasonable happiness’ is socially acceptable.
Do you fall into the habit of deferring joy so you can get things done; achieve and achieve before you can ‘rest on your laurels’? The problem is, there is always another thing to be achieved and so the celebration is deferred in perpetuity.
If you’ve had great success, joy and fortune, you may have encountered those who felt rubbed the wrong way by your success. Perhaps you were called ‘egotistical,’ ‘conceited’ or ‘stuck up.’ Perhaps you crawled into your shell so you wouldn’t step on other peoples’ toes or make them feel threatened because you have what they want. The term ‘tall poppy syndrome’ has come into being due to the prevalence of this phenomenon. Maybe having people in your life was better than rejection, so you dimmed your light. You didn’t want to be a target for envy anymore. Shining bright meant attention, both wanted and unwanted.
If you express exuberant childlike joy, you might be met with disapproving stares. People in the workplace could treat you as an idiot and disrespect you. Authority and power can only be expressed by appearing old and austere, according to our traditional society.
A long time ago, I read the book ‘The Way of the Peaceful Warrior’ by Dan Millman. It is still one of my (many) favourite books. I was excited for the film. When I watched the film there was a glaring homage to this social norm in the form of one of the main characters. Her name was ‘Joyce.’ In the book, she was described as being exceptionally bubbly and joyful, so, her parents nicknamed her ‘Joy.’ In the movie, Joy, played by Amy Smart, was meticulous, measured and somewhat austere. Perhaps she had a quiet joy within, as indicated by a subtle smile on her face. However, the character in the movie was far from the radiant and rambunctious beauty described in the book.
What does this tell us? It tells us we are not yet comfortable with recognising childlike playfulness and joy as demonstrating spiritual mastery. Sure, there are times when it is improper to let your joy flow into unbridled action but this is about exercising wisdom simultaneously. We can still let awareness of joy flow into our experience at all times. This can and will change as you give yourself permission to be joyful and stand firm in joy. You can express acceptance and affection for the world and for yourself without being called ‘conceited’ or ‘egotistical.’ Even if others cast judgments, you will not abandon your awareness of joy. It is inappropriate for others to disapprove of you because you have joy in your heart. The real crime is attempting to dim the light of others. But they have no power to control how you feel. It is time to ‘stubbornly’ remain aware of the light that you are. I encourage you to let yourself shine, if that is your preternatural bent.
Today, I was reading an article for people to recognise signs they are spiritual healers. As I read, I noticed my vibration lowering. I had to stop reading. I could sense the article was written by somebody who has a lot of past pain who is reaching out to the world collectively to heal the pain. There is nothing wrong with this. They are meeting people where they are at and will have an enormous impact. There are a lot of people hurting today who are healers and need this work. I get it and I am very appreciative of the article but it isn’t for me. Why? I will not dip my energy to meet somebody where they are at. This is not empathy; this is sympathy. Sympathy, leads to burnout. Sympathy is disempowering. Sympathy states, ‘Here, let me take some of that load for you.’
Instead, I will shine my light. I will sit in presence. I am here. All of me is here. I listen. I listen from within a field of stillness. This field of stillness can be called joy. As you bring to me that which causes you concern, I see your strengths. As your shadows emerge, I acknowledge them and I see what they really are; distortions of your power; parts that need reintegrating and reprogramming. I meet you on the level of your expansion. I hold steadfast to the vision of you that you express the desire to know. Are you brave enough to love yourself? Can you fathom the immense beauty and power of you? Are you willing to step into the light of joy that you are?
From a young age, you were taught to dim your light. I now invite you to shine brightly. I ask that instead of meeting people where they’re at, can you shine your light and invite others to shine with you?
I encourage you now to give yourself permission to joy. How do you do this? For now, simply notice when you attenuate your joy; that is all. Be aware of any thoughts, feelings or beliefs that are at odds with your experience of joy. The more you notice and bring awareness to these patterns, the more the patterns will falter and begin to crumble. Joy is your natural state. It is what emerges when you stop doing what you’re doing to block your awareness of it. So, know that joy is within you always and give yourself permission to be that.
Much love. All ways. Always xo
